My Social Life :)

8/2/12

One of those kinda days...

Today was one of those days you just want to be over with. All you want to do is scream and cry and punch things until all your frustrations are out. Today... is a BAD day! 

I have been dealing with so much lately it is unreal. The worst part about it, is that I have no one to talk to about how I feel or what has been going on. I know God is there for me and will fix any problems that I have but right now I need a person, that I can see and that can talk to me. I need a good girl friend, that I can talk to because I know that my husband doesn't understand half the stuff I tell him. He tries to help out in any way that he can but there are some things that I need help from a woman's perspective. 

All I know is, I am sick of the way my "friends" treat me. First, I am apart of their lives, then I am not. Then I am when they need something, then I am not. I AM NOT A DANG TOY! I am always there for my friends regardless what I am going through in life. Sometime I may need some help but I am ALWAYS there to help others out. I feel like I never get that in return. This time I am done. I don't need "friends" that make me miserable! I DON'T DESERVE ANY OF IT! For once, I would like to have a friend that actually cares, and can make an effort to hang out, or even just talk. 

Friendships, honestly aren't half of my problems. I am having so many other problems, with my job, with money, the fact that I am married and still can't live on our own, family issues with my mom and brother. EVERYTHING! I just don't want to be stuck between all of this. I have enough to worry about and handle on my own. I feel like I can't breathe, like I have to please everyone or that I can't do anything without money. I AM STUCK! That is the worst feeling in the world, and I am CRYING out for help!!! 


All I need right now is a vacation, me and my husband have NEVER been alone, or on a honeymoon, or even a weekend vacation by ourselves. We have been together for 5 years and married for almost 1. I cannot take that we have no privacy and can't afford to do anything about it. We need a break, more than anything in the world. I know God knows the desires of my heart but its taking a long time for this one. My patience is running low with everything and when that happens I start to loose faith... and I know a lot of us do. 

I just needed to vent and get that off my mind. I know God will fix everything that is going on, and give us the things we need. I love him with my entire life, but it does get hard to keep trusting him when so much is going wrong. That's why I need to keep pushing and believing! 

"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you." -- John 14:18


15 comments:

  1. I know things get you down and can be overwhelming. I try to think that for all our grief, some good will come. I really give you credit for trying so hard with the card business, job, marriage. One day when you and Darrell are living in a house and having alone time, you will look back and smile knowing you got through it. If you ever need anything, I'm like 2mins away.

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    1. Seriously, that means a lot! There are a lot of battles being thrown at us, but in all of it, we are making it work. I hope we get out on our own soon, I think our marriage will majorly benefit from it! Thanks for being there for me :)

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    2. I meant what I said. I think you and Darrell will have a rock solid relationship when you two conquer so many daily obsticles together.

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    3. I think we have been through way more than most couples, since we started dating, so I think getting through stuff together is getting easier. I think once we get out on our own things wont be too hard. :) thank you!!

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  2. I know EXACTLY how you feel with the friend thing. It is so hard to always do the right thing and then get the bad stuff shoved in your face and just when you think everything is going good reality slaps you real hard in the face. Sound familiar? I think as we get older our friendships begin dwindling and become more self centered. Please know that I am here for you if you ever need to just vent or chat. Remember...God gives us beauty for ashes and when we are persecuted in life... there is reward waiting on us!

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    1. Thank you so much! That truly means a lot! Things just get hard to deal with, when everything bad happens at once. I LOVE the last sentence!! It just makes me want to keep pushing through all the junk to see our reward. THANK YOU!!!!

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  3. I'm sorry to hear that. I have felt the same way and it is such an awful feeling. But maybe that is Gods way of saying to cut those friendships because they are no good. I know I just found your blog but I'm here if you want to talk :)

    And yes God will never leave us.

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    1. I think its either the devil trying to tear us apart because we were such good friends, or maybe it could be God saying to find some new ones. Either way it hurts a ton but God is working in our lives and will help us along. Thank you very much!! It means a lot!!

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  4. I had to follow because I feel this is one of the most honest posts I've read in quite awhile. I'm sorry about the friend thing and I can relate. I've often felt similar. I pray everything works out for you and I will continue to e-check on you with comments. Stay Kreative and remember you have audience here to encourage you:)

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    1. HAHA! Well that made me feel really good! I didn't actually think people would comment on this or let alone care, but I guess I was wrong. If feels nice knowing I have people out there to pray for us. All I know is that, this means a LOT to me! So thank you for being awesome! :D God Bless!

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  5. kayla i have been there...i know that feeling that everytthing seems like its going wrong, like you give, give, give...no one sees it, unless you are giving to them... it gets frustrating. i have cried to jeff about it more than one time, thats for sure..i keep telling myself, that i do things for the Glory of God, not for man...but it's hard when you just need a person to see it, a person to talk to... sometimes ive even thought about a therapist...just so i could tell someone..and not feel betrayed afterwards..haha.. love you

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    1. I think everyone had been to that point before, and I think I have been quiet a few times too... but its just getting a lot harder because most people just really have no clue what we go through... and its hard because we can't tell people how it is because they still don't understand. I broke down yesterday to my aunt and mom, just sobbing. Life should not be this hard for anyone, and its just hard when you dont have many friends to go to with problems. I try to give it all to God and most of the time is works, and he helps me though it. Now its just getting harder, because there is just sooooooo much. I know God is working and making things better now for us. PS I used to see a therapist when I was in high school because of everything I have been through. It worked and helped for a long time. But now I am relying on God to help me through. Thanks for everything! Love you!! you are seriously an awesome friend!!

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  6. Participating in GFC Blog Hop for the first time! I'm your newest follower. :)

    Kristina
    http://www.yomichaelmichael.com

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  7. I think tough times are there to show us the strength we are capable of. Sometimes this cracks and we feel overwhelmed. And that's ok too.

    Chin up and keep showing faith.

    Thanks for following my little Blog. I am about to return the favour.

    Rosie xx
    Craftbotic

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  8. So sorry you are going through hard times, when I feel like this I try to remember that God wouldn't have brought me to it if he couldn't bring me through it. Things will get better, they will.
    Thanks for sharing and I am a new follower from the GFC hop.
    Hope you are having a good day!
    Michelle
    www.delicateconstruction.com

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