Today was one of those days you just want to be over with. All you want to do is scream and cry and punch things until all your frustrations are out. Today... is a BAD day!
I have been dealing with so much lately it is unreal. The worst part about it, is that I have no one to talk to about how I feel or what has been going on. I know God is there for me and will fix any problems that I have but right now I need a person, that I can see and that can talk to me. I need a good girl friend, that I can talk to because I know that my husband doesn't understand half the stuff I tell him. He tries to help out in any way that he can but there are some things that I need help from a woman's perspective.
All I know is, I am sick of the way my "friends" treat me. First, I am apart of their lives, then I am not. Then I am when they need something, then I am not. I AM NOT A DANG TOY! I am always there for my friends regardless what I am going through in life. Sometime I may need some help but I am ALWAYS there to help others out. I feel like I never get that in return. This time I am done. I don't need "friends" that make me miserable! I DON'T DESERVE ANY OF IT! For once, I would like to have a friend that actually cares, and can make an effort to hang out, or even just talk.
Friendships, honestly aren't half of my problems. I am having so many other problems, with my job, with money, the fact that I am married and still can't live on our own, family issues with my mom and brother. EVERYTHING! I just don't want to be stuck between all of this. I have enough to worry about and handle on my own. I feel like I can't breathe, like I have to please everyone or that I can't do anything without money. I AM STUCK! That is the worst feeling in the world, and I am CRYING out for help!!!
All I need right now is a vacation, me and my husband have NEVER been alone, or on a honeymoon, or even a weekend vacation by ourselves. We have been together for 5 years and married for almost 1. I cannot take that we have no privacy and can't afford to do anything about it. We need a break, more than anything in the world. I know God knows the desires of my heart but its taking a long time for this one. My patience is running low with everything and when that happens I start to loose faith... and I know a lot of us do.
I just needed to vent and get that off my mind. I know God will fix everything that is going on, and give us the things we need. I love him with my entire life, but it does get hard to keep trusting him when so much is going wrong. That's why I need to keep pushing and believing!
"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you." -- John 14:18